When life gives you lemons, put ’em on a beaver tail

As it turns out, I am scared of roller coasters.

When this fear originated, I do not know. Last I checked I loved roller coasters. But apparently, as of yesterday, that is not so much the case.

Yesterday I went to La Ronde, and I was pumped. This day had been planned and awaited for and I was excited. I had not been to La Ronde for at least a couple years and the last time I had been I loved it. If you are new here, La Ronde is roller coasters on an island that costs a fortune per ticket and is SO MUCH FUN. You cannot live in or be from or visit Montreal without knowing what La Ronde is. If you do not know what La Ronde is, please remedy that situationΒ here and now.

And so we went to La Ronde. The day was perfect because it was a weekday, it wasn’t too hot, it was a little cloudy and it was only the teeniest bit drizzly. For you La Ronde newbies this means less people less sunburns less waiting for hours in lines more rides more rides MORE RIDES.

However I must (shamefully) report that I completed only three rides. Yes, yes. Three.

Perhaps it was the fact that I hadn’t eaten much that day, or that I had had an incredibly stressful morning, but I did not enjoy the roller coasters in the same care-free-throw-your-worries-away-daredevil-for-the-day way as I had the previous times. What was the problem with the roller coasters? I one hundred percent was convinced that I was going to be flung from my seat at any moment. Convinced. And despite the fact that you move at 138469 miles an hour on these rides, I was living those twenty speedy seconds in slow (terrifying) motion. WHAT A BUMMER.

I suppose a little part of me maybe liked it. Because at the end of the day, I still had a good day. When asked, I truthfully said that I had fun. It’s a conundrum, really, trying to figure this out. I wanted to enjoy the roller coasters so badly, and was expecting to be scared in that same kind of fun way that it is to be scared watching horror movies, but then ended with wobbly legs and no breath and being pretty flipping scared. The other thing is, I do not like fairs. You know, they come into town every once in a while and you can ride the ferris wheel and play carnival games and eat cotton candy? Yeah, I do not like those. I can tell you why another time. But yesterday La Ronde felt like a fair to me. It smelled like candy and popcorn and there was little carousel music playing and it felt like a fair. But I had fun (???). Conundrum, I tell you.

ANYHOW HERE ARE THE HAPPY THINGS!

La Ronde is awesome. Don’t let my newfound and curious roller coaster fear stand in your way! Here are the best rides (IMO) for you to scream on and enjoy at La Ronde: Monster (classic, that one I would actually ride over and over), Goliath (sit in the front seat), Splash (on a super hot day you can’t not do this one), Vampire (I saw some pink puke at this one, it’s great), and La Pitoune (except you can’t because it’s retired now, I hope you’ve been before).

Then I ate a beaver tail. Are you not Canadian? Are you not from Montreal? View featured image to see what kind of deliciousness you’re missing out on. I topped off my stressful?wonderful?hectic?awesome? day with a sugar-cinnamon-lemon beaver tail, and it was so perfect. It made me feel happier and better and I loved it.

Then we blasted music in the car and we went back to my friend’s place to see her new puppy and he is so fluffy and bouncy and happy and peed right on the floor when we arrived. So perfect.

And a lil’ somethin’ else for you, tomorrow night kicks off La Ronde’s annual fireworks (!!!) ! YES, GET EXCITED! IT IS ALSO CANADA DAY AND CANADA’S 150th BIRTHDAY (that debate can be had later, people have been living here and making this a country for far longer than 150 years) AND SO THAT MEANS EXTRA EXTRA FIREWORKS!

That is lots of capital letters, but if anything deserves that much enthusiasm it is fireworks. And however old you believe Canada is, I’m sure you can appreciate fireworks. Any reason is a good reason for fireworks I think.

And for cake.

And for beaver tails.

 

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